Comfort or adventure?

From Volume 11, Issue 9: Why do any of us do what we do? React the way we react? Answer the way we do?

Do you get what you deserve?

From Volume 11, Issue 8:Have you ever wondered, “What do I deserve?”

The value of conflict

From Volume 11, Issue 7: On the outside, I’m betting none of my readers would believe that conflict is, in general, productive. And I guess a lot of it isn’t. Let’s look at what conflict works and what conflict doesn’t.

Moment of Clarity, September 2018, Behind the terror of 9/11, true inspiration.

Moment of Clarity, August 2018, How do you get to Carnegie Hall….Practice!

Jumping to conclusions

From Volume 11, Issue 6:According to Wikipedia, “jumping to conclusions” (officially the jumping conclusion bias, often abbreviated as JTC, and also referred to as the inference-observation confusion) is a psychological term referring to a communication obstacle where one “judge[s] or decide[s] something without having all the facts; to reach unwarranted conclusions.”

JTC has caused me more grief than any other Knower/Judger reaction I can think of.

Enemy-ness

From Volume 11, Issue 6:Can you imagine toilet paper being the root cause of someone’s murder? Well, structurally, I can.
In my workshops and keynotes, I bring up the age-old debate on whether toilet paper should roll off the top of the roll or the bottom. My research shows that about 5% of the population is rigidly certain (from their Knower/Judger, of course) that the only proper way toilet paper should come off a roll is off the bottom. The other 95% is convinced (from their K/J) that God meant it to roll off the top. It can be quite amusing when two combatants start debating this in a workshop—and quite difficult to get them back on track.
I use the example to get people to feel just how concrete some of our rules of life, no matter how trivial, can be.

Ringers!

What pisses you off?

From Volume 11, Issue 5:Seriously. What event, person, occurrence, treatment routinely puts you over the edge? Write it down… on paper.

Got it? For me, it’s pretty routinely my level of anger of stupid things that I do, personal failures, frequently forgetting details or things that cascade into bigger things—like leaving the phone on my nightstand when I’m expecting an important call.

I coulda been a contender

From Volume 11, Issue 5:You don’t understand. I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender. I coulda been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am.

Marlon Brando’s (Terry Malloy’s) impassioned conversation with his brother in the 1954 movie On The Waterfront tells the whole story.

Malloy’s narrative on his own life at that point set his limits. He’d been a prizefighter, managed by his brother and some shady boxing impresarios to throw fights for quick money. While actually a fairly talented athlete, the quick money was always what he was expected to win… by losing.

Moment of Clarity, May 2018…Factfulness = Clarity

Defining the problem

From Volume 11, Issue 4:Harold walked into his boss’s office to report on the project he’d been given earlier in the week. Before Harold said a word, his supervisor, clearly agitated, asked why the completed project was not yet on his desk.

Harold’s blood pressure rose and in an instant he found himself in a potential fight, flight, or freeze situation. He chose to defend himself and offered myriad valid reasons why the project was not yet done.

The battle had just begun—and not for the first time. Harold’s supervisor frequently set expectations of Harold that Harold felt were unreasonable. In other words, this dialog was not foreign to either participant.