Tag Archives: Want

Wanting

From Volume 10, Issue 11:Can you define something that you feel you want that isn’t tied directly to your Knower/Judger? That wouldn’t be satisfying some ego need? It’s tough, isn’t it? Money? Car? House? Relationship?

Kryptonite…

From Volume 10, Issue 9:“If I go crazy then will you still
Call me Superman
If I’m alive and well, will you be
There holding my hand
I’ll keep you by my side with
My superhuman might
Kryptonite” ~ Three Doors Down
It’s midnight, December 31st. While those around me are carelessly carousing and chanting and singing and falling asleep, I’m honing my list of things I’ll do better starting the next day. No craft beers. Work out every day. No sleeping past 6 a.m. Train for and run two half marathons… the list goes on. They’re called New Year’s resolutions. We’ve all done them.

But I Want It

From Volume 10, Issue 6:Some positive thinking gurus disdain the concept of “wanting” things. They claim it only leaves a hole in one’s life that will never be filled. And Yoda said, “There is no try.”
I challenge both of those premises. First, nothing is ever accomplished or obtained if you don’t try to do so. So, following that logic, “do or do not” can’t even happen without someone first trying. Furthermore, I simply believe no aspiration is ever accomplished unless a significant amount of want is invested.

Is your Risk/Reward model working for you?

From Volume 10, Issue 4:I’ve come to believe that each us of has developed in our Knower/Judger life scripts a certain level of risk tolerance. That is, we take in the available data for an action we’re about to take or a decision we’re about to make, we measure it against a probability of success or failure, and we pull the trigger (or we don’t).

Wanted: People who Know What They Want… and Why

From Volume 10, Issue 1: What do you want? Money? That tops a lot of lists. Lottery win? More clients? Vacations? Love? Great sex? I’ve discovered that many of the things I think I want aren’t my true desires, and you may suspect the same for yourself. Discovering why you have a certain want can help you get to the bottom of what will truly satisfy you.

Creative Quitting: The Art of Letting Go

From Volume 9, Issue 12:Stick-to-itiveness. I was raised on it. Commitment…always a good thing, right? Toughing it out has been a cornerstone of my existence, imprinted by a can-do dad and a cheerleader mom, both products of the “Greatest Generation.” So obviously, not quitting is right smack in the middle of my “comfort zone.” That should be a warning in itself. “Fish or cut bait,” the old saying goes. Well, I’m here to vote in favor of “cutting bait.” I’ve termed it “creative quitting.”

Shit or Get Off the Pot

From Volume 9, Issue 7:There have been times in my life when no saying was ever truer than the title of this article. It’s not a spot I can say I’m satisfied to be in, nor does it contribute to my general happiness. So why am I there—wanting to do something but unable to do it? Because I’m torn between two competing messages in my self-talk….you know, that chatter in your head you use to build yourself up or sometimes completely denigrate yourself? Here’s how to determine whether it’s time to go for it or get off the metaphorical toilet and focus on something else.

Decision, Decisions

From Volume 9, Issue 7:Life success guru Tony Robbins said, “A real decision is measured by the fact that you’ve taken a new action. If there’s no action, you haven’t truly decided.”

I think it’s subtler than that. I think we make decisions about a lot of things that don’t lead to action, but do lead to what I call “rule revision.” And revising the rule can make a huge difference in our lives.

Figuring Out What You Really Want

From Volume 9, Issue 6:With many of my clients, we get to an impasse when we try to figure out what they really want. The challenge with simply asking the question is that I almost always get a Knower/Judger, politically correct, react-rather-than-respond answer. And frequently the answer refers more to a need (which is K/J-based, egocentric, and satisfying) than a want (which is Learner/Researcher-based, present, and happiness-oriented). Here’s how I figure out what I want.

Using the Flames of Desire to Get What You Want

From Volume 8, Issue 6:Back in March, I penned an article on “wanting it more,” using the term “hunger” as a motivation amplifier. Yesterday, I sat in a meeting facilitated by an expert who suggested that “wanting” was not enough to obtain or accomplish. “Wanting” has to be paired with “desire.” That got me thinking about what desire is and how we can use it to change our habits for the better. Here’s some food for thought that you might be able to use to finally make that change you’ve been wanting to make.