Archive | HD Clarity E-Zine RSS feed for this section

Happy 2016?

From Volume 9, Issue 1:The cultural Knower/Judger rule, at least here in the Western world, is that we continually strive to close the gap between what we have or are, and what we want or want to be. The desire to close this gap is a motivator. It’s what will help you make a higher salary or annual income this year, hit your sales goals, and get the car, house, or clothes you want. But let’s face it. The driving force of the American Dream is a certain level of dissatisfaction and, quite naturally, unhappiness—until you get what you want. My question is this: do dissatisfaction and unhappiness have to go together?

Why Giving Is Really Getting

From Volume 9, Issue 1:We all know we should be altruistic, and many of us are. But do we truly understand why? When I’m altruistic, it’s good for others. I’m helping someone in some way, giving my own money, time, or energy to another when I could be using it for myself. It’s a nice thing to do, but what do I get out of it? Well, it turns out that I’m the winner when it comes to being altruistic because there are a whole lot of benefits.

Musial Moments

From Volume 8, Issue 12:A little while back I was blessed to attend the Musial Awards™, honoring the legacy of Stan Musial by celebrating the greatest moments of sportsmanship in North America. There were awards for kids being kids. There were awards for grown-ups being kids. There were awards for acts of sportsmanship and kindness and for doing the “right” thing even when that means you’ll lose. It was generally an evening for tissues. Grown jocks were seen slipping Kleenexes back and forth…and it was even more difficult at the reception, where we met several of the recipients. Here are just a few of the incredible stories I heard that night.

Is Anyone in the Driver’s Seat?

From Volume 8, Issue 12:When I was first getting into rallying and cars in general, a mentor of mine (some readers may remember Wayne Wiley, may he rest in peace) had a pet peeve. He would come unglued anytime someone talking about an automobile accident said, “The car veered off the road.” “Nonsense!” Wayne would bellow. “The car didn’t veer off the road, the driver drove it off.” Blaming the car is a way to make a victim out of the driver, and I think it’s time to put accountability where it belongs.

Hitting the Reset Button

From Volume 8, Issue 11:Every once in a while my computer locks up. In Mac land they call it the “pinwheel of death.” Microsoft people call it the “blue screen of death.” Anyway…it’s death. Sometimes the router for my in-home Wi-Fi just gets testy and stops communicating with my devices. I’ve had times when the “smart” stuff in my car has stopped working. How do I recover from these little tragedies? They all have reset buttons! Do a restart and all is well.

But what about my reset button? You know, the one that eliminates what’s causing me stress right now and gives me a new outlook on a situation and new energy to move forward? The way I see it, there are three types of reset buttons we can press when life is challenging us—if we remember to press them.

Pondering the Mystery of Joy

From Volume 8, Issue 11:Like a mysterious subatomic particle or large universal component, both of which are known to exist by inference of proven data, I think I’ve identified a level above Eckhart Tolle’s three responses. We know we can choose to accept what happens, enjoy it passively, or even engage in the occurrence enthusiastically. But there is evidence that a level greater than “engaging enthusiastically” exists—and I think we’ve all experienced it.

Serving Two Gods

From Volume 8, Issue 10:”Did you ever have to make up your mind?
You pick up on one and leave the other behind
It’s not often easy and not often kind
Did you ever have to make up your mind?”

(Words and music by John Sebastian of the Lovin’ Spoonfuls)

I don’t know if this happens to you. I see it frequently in my daily life. I’m put in a position where I have to decide between two events, or philosophies, or people, and there’s just no middle ground…pick one; get rid of the other. My Knower/Judger always has a problem with this dichotomous dilemma. I always want to say, “I can do both!” (or in other words, “I can do it all!”).

Perhaps people who don’t test life or take chances or get passionate about things don’t run into these crises as often. Seems to happen to me a lot. So what do you do when you find yourself trying to serve two gods?

My Top 10 Secrets for Developing a Life I Love

From Volume 8, Issue 10:After 30 years of coaching, teambuilding, and developing programs like Clarity Summits and 3-2-1-GO!!, I’ve determined 10 “secrets” that I believe aid me in developing the life I want. They represent a lifetime of mentors, books, and presentations. Here are some of the books that have changed me and been incorporated into my top 10.

Words Can Hurt You

From Volume 8, Issue 9:I enjoy GEICO ads. I think they’re clever and well written…I especially enjoy Jesse riding into the “THE END” sign and being tossed from his trusty steed while leaving his gal ’cuz a “loner has to be alone.” Yes, words hurt Jesse, and I’ve been thinking lately about how words can hurt all of us…not the words of others but those that we tell ourselves. Who would we be without words, and how can we keep them from hurting us?

Pet Love: One of the Cheapest Forms of Therapy Around

From Volume 8, Issue 9:In my youth, we had a black cocker spaniel named Cokey (Coke? Like in coal? Get it?). Cokey was a ditzy dog who spent her days in the woods around my northern New Jersey home, cleaning the trees of ticks. Cokey’s ears were so long we had to secure them over her head with a clothespin when she ate, or dinner residue would stick to them. Cokey was Mom’s drug of choice when she stressed out about any of a number of things that impinged upon her life, not the least of which was me. What makes our pets so effective in their ability to calm us and tap off the stresses of the day?