From Volume 10, Issue 4:I’ve come to believe that each us of has developed in our Knower/Judger life scripts a certain level of risk tolerance. That is, we take in the available data for an action we’re about to take or a decision we’re about to make, we measure it against a probability of success or failure, and we pull the trigger (or we don’t).
From Volume 10, Issue 4:In this monthly missive, you’ve read about two states we present to our world. One state—the Knower/Judger (K/J)—is purely learned, reactionary, and emotional. It pretty well defines how we present ourselves to the world. It is observable for many of us through various behavioral assessments, such as DISC and Myers/Briggs. They help us and those around us understand how we will act in various circumstances. Aggressive-Passive, Compliant-Rebellious, People- or Task-Oriented, etc. These assessments are wonderful for improving communications on teams.
From Volume 10, Issue 3:I’ve competed in car rallies for more than 40 years. This motorsport involves racing custom-built sports cars through unpaved or unruly public and private roads in all weather conditions. It occurred to me recently that the rally team—driver, co-driver, service crew, and car constructer—accomplishes much more if we work together in unity, when we’re doing well and even when we make mistakes. Those teams that lack trust, understanding, and camaraderie simply crash. The same concept applies to any professional or recreational team.
From Volume 10, Issue 3:I have often said that knowledge impedes learning. I’m referring to Knower/Judger intellectual knowledge, which until recently, I believed was the only type.
From Volume 10, Issue 2:I’m never exactly sure what the term guilt trip means. Does it mean I am on a journey of negative feelings? Or that my guilt made me stumble?
Let’s look at how guilt originates. We all experience it. From the days when the nuns smacked the back of our hands in St. Margaret School, to the Jewish mother’s lament: “You nevah cawl your mutha any mowah.” Every culture has ways to bestow—or, more accurately, attach—guilt.
From Volume 10, Issue 2:In the movie, Bridge of Spies, lawyer James Donavan (played by Tom Hanks) is astonished when his client, Rudolf Abel, an accused Soviet spy (played by Mark Rylance) remains calm while facing the death penalty in the United States.
Abel repeats: “Would it help?” three times during the movie, all while facing incredible psychological pressure. In addition to the death penalty scene, Donavon asks: “Do you never worry?” when Abel admits that he’s not an American citizen, and might not be a Soviet citizen either. Again, the same response: “Would it help?” The third time it happens is when the prisoner exchange is about to occur and Donavan asks: “Are you not worried that your own people might shoot you?” Again, he responds: “Would it help?”
From Volume 10, Issue 1: What do you want? Money? That tops a lot of lists. Lottery win? More clients? Vacations? Love? Great sex? I’ve discovered that many of the things I think I want aren’t my true desires, and you may suspect the same for yourself. Discovering why you have a certain want can help you get to the bottom of what will truly satisfy you.
From Volume 10, Issue 1: To his credit, President Obama made a very valid point in his final speech from Chicago. We tend to search for our news from the sources that most align with our Knower/Judger prejudices. (He didn’t use that nomenclature, unfortunately.) Nice for us, but this tendency, and the increasing amount of information we are feeding ourselves to affirm our prejudices, is tearing our society apart. How can we overcome this? Read more.
From Volume 9, Issue 12:Stick-to-itiveness. I was raised on it. Commitment…always a good thing, right? Toughing it out has been a cornerstone of my existence, imprinted by a can-do dad and a cheerleader mom, both products of the “Greatest Generation.” So obviously, not quitting is right smack in the middle of my “comfort zone.” That should be a warning in itself. “Fish or cut bait,” the old saying goes. Well, I’m here to vote in favor of “cutting bait.” I’ve termed it “creative quitting.”
From Volume 9, Issue 12:Over the years, multiple psychologists have delineated the “stages of life.” Dr. Thomas Armstrong has 12. Mark Manson has four. Others claim there are five or eight. In all models, there is a phase in our lives when we separate from our parents, go out in the world, and acquire. We acquire skills, possessions, money, reputations, relationships, and more. In this stage (roughly 25–45 years of age, depending on which model you’re using), we are responsible for making ourselves into what we are going to be. And it’s full of frustration and expectation.