Tag Archives: Knower/Judger

Narratives

From Volume 13, Issue 8:A narrative is a story, right? And I believe we tend to use stories to describe things.

Sometimes it’s things that have happened to us and sometimes it’s things that have happened to others. Sometimes our narratives are developed from personal experience, and sometimes they are inherited from others who influence us, like our parents, teachers, coaches, spiritual advisers, etc. Sometimes these narratives even come unsolicited from the world around us: through news media, social media, books, and articles we read.

Love/hate

From Volume 13, Issue 7:I have a problem with the word “love.” It can mean so many things that I consider it a relatively unclear term. “I love you” and “I love you too” gets repeated over and over again in a ritual that couples execute on a regular basis. But what do they mean?

Forgive me.

From Volume 13, Issue 4:I’m as sure as I can be that, in one of the hundreds of these missives I’ve cranked out over the past 12 years, I’ve offered a concept or an idea or an opinion that simply didn’t agree with how you see the world. Perhaps I even upset you… riled you up… pissed you off. I often do that if for no other reason than to get my reader to think about a subject from a different perspective.

There must be a pony in here somewhere.

From Volume 13, Issue 4:Earlier this week I sent an email to many of my current and past coaching clients, just to reach out. My intent was to nudge folks into an optimistic mood in these unusual circumstances. For some, optimism is simply impossible right now. For others, it can be a life raft.

Do you like being angry?

From Volume 13, Issue 3:Do you like being angry? Is that what you really want? I know I don’t. How about insecure? Frustrated? Jealous? Guilty? At the risk of sounding cavalier about it, why don’t you just change that feeling?

It’s nice to be right.

From Volume 12, Issue 12:Pure science, it is said, is involved in the exercise of continuously proving itself wrong. That’s how new discoveries, breakthroughs, and apparent miracles happen.

Heading into the Holidays

From Volume 12, Issue 11: Here we go again—it’s November already! Where did the year go?!

We have that lineup of annual no-holds-barred holidays facing us like a gauntlet ready to mete out seasonal punishment in two-months-long serial order.

Drivers

From Volume 12, Issue 5: Drivers. Not the kind I co-drive for on rallies, or those that steer cars and push on the accelerator, but behavioral imperatives that constitute a great chunk of our knower/judger (K/J) rules. They create the challenges we experience in our relationships (and in our lives). Read on to identify specific drivers and how you can work with them to help yourself and others overcome them.

Settling

From Volume 12, Issue 6:Why do I settle for something that I don’t actually want?

On the subject of trust

From Volume 12, Issue 5:Trust is the basis of David Lencioni’s Five Dysfunctions of a Team. Without trust, teams perform at less than ideal levels trying to gain traction. And I’ve seen teams with high concentrations of trust perform at levels greater than the sum of their parts. I suspect you have as well.