January 27, 2021

What Was I Thinking?

From Volume 9, Issue 8:My friend Mary Lore likes to say that we are not our brains. She believes our brains (in the form of our Knower/Judger) run our lives too often. Patterns have repeated so often in the past that we’ve decided that’s just the way things are. “When this happens, then this is the response, and when that happens, that is the response.” Our “rules of life,” if you will. Our brains, which can only react, take over, and we can’t respond in new ways that might be more beneficial for us. So how do we overcome this?

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The Benefit of the Doubt

From Volume 8, Issue 1:In our culture, “doubt” is normally considered a detriment. From the early days of our education, we are praised for knowing the answer and made to feel less than adequate if we don’t.

But I’m here to sing the praises of doubt. Doubt’s a good thing. If I doubt, it means I’m not sure. And too much certainty can be crippling.

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Valentine’s Day

From Volume 7, Issue 2: Let Me Rephrase That

“The more one judges, the less one loves.” —Honoré de Balzac

Love is in the air! It’s that time of year when flower shops do a booming business and chocolatiers guilt-trip us into buying sugary goodness nobody really needs. As I tend to question everything, my thoughts have naturally turned to the question of what love is. In this article, we look at the many faces of love and how we can possibly bring more meaning and clarity to our relationships with our valentines by going beyond love.

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More Productive Conversations: The Power Is in Your Hands

From Volume 7, Issue 1:The concept that women just want to be listened to and not told how to fix something is legendary in the Mars/Venus counseling world. In my household, I spent years jumping in with at least three or four unwelcome solutions when my spouse came home from a frustrating day and dumped a verbal stream of consciousness. “What?” I’ve been heard to protest. “I’m just trying to help!” I now know that it’s quite easy to change these conversations, simply by changing the part of the mind I’m operating from when having them.

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