“NO” defines us…where we set the limits of how far we will go, how much pain we’ll endure, or how much we will spend….eventually we run into a “NO”.
I’ve discovered that “NO” can come from many different emotional states.
I can look at a situation that simply doesn’t look “right” to my definition of right and wrong and defend against it with a resounding, defensive “NO”. Another example of this is “NO, because I’m the MOM!” The authoritative rejection….you crossed the line, buddy! This is supported by the “I’m right” position (usually with little or no supporting data).
I can be experiencing something that makes me feel bad, weak, or downtrodden and declare “NO, I’m not going to take it any more.” This is usually seen as a “lash out” response to an interaction with the person in the last paragraph!
I can look at someone’s interpretation of data (their version of “right” as seen through their filters) and reject it as biased or prejudiced. “NO, that’s not accurate.” This one is very useful IF the other person can see the new data. Otherwise it’s interpreted as if YOU are the person in the first paragraph.
And I can use “NO” as a mechanism to surround myself with the people, resources, and joys that serve my personal goals. “NO, that’s not what I want to do.” This comes from our God given right to be an individual….to set our own rules and limits as they apply right here and right now.
In our daily lives we experience all four of these, but its this last NO that forms the “Foundation of Free Will, the Cornerstone of Character and the Icon of Integrity”. It’s the one that frees us from the tyranny of jumping through hoops for others, serving on committees we have no interest in, enabling destructive behaviors in others, and enslaving ourselves to “rules of life” we had little part in writing.
I urge all to use “NO” liberally….from any of these positions. But it’s the last one that can alter your future.