December 8, 2024

Self Coaching Skills: Take Control of Your Life

From Volume 16, Issue 1:Did you declare a New Year’s resolution?

And are you now wondering why you still can’t seem to change a behavior? (My nemesis remains getting into conversations and then talking over the other person.)

Maybe you’d like to develop skills for your business or employer or personal life. Have you ever worked with a coach—for business, life, or golf—but you still struggle to realize certain goals?

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Solving the problem

From Volume 11, Issue 4:Here’s Mr. Oil and Mr. Water staring at each other across the desk. Both are replaying a video of themselves in their youth in the same emotional situation. One’s getting harassed for underperforming, and the other’s on the offense, because that was (and is today) his role and makes his world work the way he wants it to.

Allowed to play out, the dialog that develops between these two (and husbands and wives and parents and kids) will most likely follow the same pattern it’s followed for years. One individual, locked in their Knower/Judger response patterns, will elicit the same response from the other individual locked in their K/J response patterns. There’s virtually no hope that anything different will happen than has happened in the past. It’s a downward spiral and actually, with repeated experiences, becomes easier and easier to reach the level of dysfunctional faster.

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Habit or addiction?

From Volume 10, Issue 9:Reach for that bagel. Tell myself I’m unlucky. Follow a strict tooth-brushing routine. Judge others by their:

o Intellect
o Weight
o Attractiveness
o Skin color
o Political philosophy

Make the toilet paper come off the roll:

o From over the top
o From underneath

These repeated patterns we exhibit, I believe, are simply manifestations of our Knower/Judger—that “keeper of the rules” we carry around with us that makes getting through the day easier. After all, we don’t have to stop and think about things we already have an answer to, right?

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Kryptonite…

From Volume 10, Issue 9:“If I go crazy then will you still
Call me Superman
If I’m alive and well, will you be
There holding my hand
I’ll keep you by my side with
My superhuman might
Kryptonite” ~ Three Doors Down
It’s midnight, December 31st. While those around me are carelessly carousing and chanting and singing and falling asleep, I’m honing my list of things I’ll do better starting the next day. No craft beers. Work out every day. No sleeping past 6 a.m. Train for and run two half marathons… the list goes on. They’re called New Year’s resolutions. We’ve all done them.

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The 2016 Election: An Opportunity for Change

From Volume 9, Issue 11:Some of us have been witness to some disappointing events this fall. The not-so-hapless Chicago Cubs won their first World Series in 108 years (disappointing to non-fans). A reality TV star with billions rushed headlong through the Clinton machine to win an election no one though he could just days before the polls closed (disappointing for many). And now I’m hearing nonacceptance. “The Cubs are not my world champions.” “Donald Trump is not my president.” But by condemning this year’s election process and its results (or the Cubs and their fans), I believe the protestors oppress not only the winners, but themselves as well.

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