From Volume 13, Issue 1:I believe we are all habitual beings. That is to say that we pretty much do the same thing in response to things that happen in our lives over and over again.
From Volume 11, Issue 11:At the beginning of just about every coaching engagement I’ve had over the last 15 or more years, I’ve asked, “What do you want?”. And it’s pretty universally a very difficult question to answer honestly.
From Volume 11, Issue 4:Here’s Mr. Oil and Mr. Water staring at each other across the desk. Both are replaying a video of themselves in their youth in the same emotional situation. One’s getting harassed for underperforming, and the other’s on the offense, because that was (and is today) his role and makes his world work the way he wants it to.
Allowed to play out, the dialog that develops between these two (and husbands and wives and parents and kids) will most likely follow the same pattern it’s followed for years. One individual, locked in their Knower/Judger response patterns, will elicit the same response from the other individual locked in their K/J response patterns. There’s virtually no hope that anything different will happen than has happened in the past. It’s a downward spiral and actually, with repeated experiences, becomes easier and easier to reach the level of dysfunctional faster.
From Volume 11, Issue 1:By the time you read this, you may have already blown your New Year’s Eve Resolution(s).
Why do we even bother to make them? Over the years I’ll bet I’m zero for fifty. I’ve discovered several possibilities as to why they don’t work, at least for me.
From Volume 10, Issue 9:Reach for that bagel. Tell myself I’m unlucky. Follow a strict tooth-brushing routine. Judge others by their:
o Skin color
o Political philosophy
Make the toilet paper come off the roll:
o From over the top
o From underneath
These repeated patterns we exhibit, I believe, are simply manifestations of our Knower/Judger—that “keeper of the rules” we carry around with us that makes getting through the day easier. After all, we don’t have to stop and think about things we already have an answer to, right?
From Volume 10, Issue 9:“If I go crazy then will you still
Call me Superman
If I’m alive and well, will you be
There holding my hand
I’ll keep you by my side with
My superhuman might
Kryptonite” ~ Three Doors Down
It’s midnight, December 31st. While those around me are carelessly carousing and chanting and singing and falling asleep, I’m honing my list of things I’ll do better starting the next day. No craft beers. Work out every day. No sleeping past 6 a.m. Train for and run two half marathons… the list goes on. They’re called New Year’s resolutions. We’ve all done them.
From Volume 10, Issue 5:“New beginnings” sounds like a positive marketing spin on starting over or trying again. It’s upbeat phraseology to help me get over a loss or failure. Sometimes new beginnings are formulated and executed by me, and sometimes they are thrust upon me.
From Volume 9, Issue 11:Some of us have been witness to some disappointing events this fall. The not-so-hapless Chicago Cubs won their first World Series in 108 years (disappointing to non-fans). A reality TV star with billions rushed headlong through the Clinton machine to win an election no one though he could just days before the polls closed (disappointing for many). And now I’m hearing nonacceptance. “The Cubs are not my world champions.” “Donald Trump is not my president.” But by condemning this year’s election process and its results (or the Cubs and their fans), I believe the protestors oppress not only the winners, but themselves as well.
From Volume 9, Issue 10:.Over my lifetime I have frequently identified myself as being “in a rut.” I do the same things day in and day out. I eat at the same places for lunch. I pal around with the same people. It can be a little boring, but comfortable. And therein lies the rub. It’s comfortable. But does that mean I should stay in the rut or not? Here’s why we like our ruts and how to tell if it’s time to leave them behind.
From Volume 8, Issue 6:Back in March, I penned an article on “wanting it more,” using the term “hunger” as a motivation amplifier. Yesterday, I sat in a meeting facilitated by an expert who suggested that “wanting” was not enough to obtain or accomplish. “Wanting” has to be paired with “desire.” That got me thinking about what desire is and how we can use it to change our habits for the better. Here’s some food for thought that you might be able to use to finally make that change you’ve been wanting to make.