April 25, 2024

Hey, Maybe I Like My Rut

From Volume 9, Issue 10:.Over my lifetime I have frequently identified myself as being “in a rut.” I do the same things day in and day out. I eat at the same places for lunch. I pal around with the same people. It can be a little boring, but comfortable. And therein lies the rub. It’s comfortable. But does that mean I should stay in the rut or not? Here’s why we like our ruts and how to tell if it’s time to leave them behind.

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Using the Flames of Desire to Get What You Want

From Volume 8, Issue 6:Back in March, I penned an article on “wanting it more,” using the term “hunger” as a motivation amplifier. Yesterday, I sat in a meeting facilitated by an expert who suggested that “wanting” was not enough to obtain or accomplish. “Wanting” has to be paired with “desire.” That got me thinking about what desire is and how we can use it to change our habits for the better. Here’s some food for thought that you might be able to use to finally make that change you’ve been wanting to make.

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How Fun Can Seriously Change Your Life

From Volume 8, Issue 5:Let’s play a game. Imagine that you’re in a classroom. In front of you, there’s a professor, wagging his or her finger while preaching to you. (The professor is in the Knower/Judger persona, naturally…it’s the job.) The professor goes on and on while you sit there. How likely is it that you are going to retain the new information? Now imagine that you’re being given the same information but there is a game or competition involved. Will it be easier to learn? You bet! Here’s why.

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12 Steps to Changing any Behavior

From Volume 6, Issue 9:When you repeat a behavior that you want to stop, you’re addicted. We all have these. They’re the responses we give to which we utter the Homer Simpson “D’oh!” or “I wish I hadn’t said that!” But it’s too late. You said it! You always say it! You’re addicted! You say it or do it because it’s in your comfort zone. That part of you that feels warm and fuzzy when you stay within your “rules of life” gets a high from it. Here’s what you can do to finally break the pattern and adopt the behaviors that will get you where you want to be.

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The Problem With MEN

From Volume 6, Issue 6:Working with leaders around the country and in Asia and Australia over the last 10 years, I’ve observed that people tend to be “comfortable” when their momentary emotional needs (MEN—and that acronym is not an accident!) are taken care of. Sometimes we even interpret this as being happy. But often people ask for my help because they want to stop some habitual dysfunction and I discover that they are truly comfortable when operating in that manner. Comfortable, but obviously not happy, or my help wouldn’t be required. So what’s really going on here?

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How to Break Free

From Volume 5, Issue 1:Remember when Coke cost a nickel? American cars had big tail fins? VHS was the way to watch movies at home and telephones sat on tables—and had dials? It all changed. We accept that things change. We don’t go berserk about cell phones or small cars. So why do we have such a problem when a rule we internalized back in 1975, like “You must clean your plate,” isn’t working anymore? There are some rules that need breaking, but doing it is hard, unless you understand where they come from and know how to free yourself.

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