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At a recent coaching session with a very talented IT client of mine (we’ll call her Marsha) she recounted a story to me about a particularly contentious negotiating (well, actually fault-finding) conversation she facilitated between a client of hers and her client’s client.
Both parties were heavily invested in Knower/Judger finger pointing and scape-goating and were bound and determined to be “right” in this debate. They’d long ago abandoned getting to the reality of the situation. Sound familiar?
Marsha’s client asked him to step in to mediate this issue. Think about the Knower/Judger rules in play here…. “Do I maintain objectivity?” “Do I stack the debate in my client’s favor?” Tough spot to be in, no?
Marsha took the high road. She worked very hard to stay in her Learner/Researcher and bring the two combatants out of their K/Js into their L/Rs. And she was able to get them to see the facts without translating them through their K/J, ego involved filters. Peace was restored. The processes that permitted the problem to occur were identified. The two settled on a mutually agreeable resolution.
Bear in mind Marsha’s value to these two had nothing to do with her talent as an IT guru. And it had everything to do with understanding the HDClarity tools that “reduce struggle, dissipate conflict, improve relationships and relieve stress”….hmmmm….where have we heard that before. Oh, and it appears Marsha landed the other combatant as a new client as well.
Lesson? You can be the most talented, most certified, most educated and functionally the best in your business. Those measurable qualities are up for bid in the marketplace. Put SOME of those together with fantastic interpersonal skills and your value multiplies.
Kim DeMotte – Corporate CoDriver has developed tools and programs for teams who value increased trust, understanding and camaraderie Call him at (877) 245-8251.
“There is a clear and present danger when we are neither clear nor present”
