From Volume 10, Issue 4:I’ve come to believe that each us of has developed in our Knower/Judger life scripts a certain level of risk tolerance. That is, we take in the available data for an action we’re about to take or a decision we’re about to make, we measure it against a probability of success or failure, and we pull the trigger (or we don’t).
From Volume 10, Issue 1: What do you want? Money? That tops a lot of lists. Lottery win? More clients? Vacations? Love? Great sex? I’ve discovered that many of the things I think I want aren’t my true desires, and you may suspect the same for yourself. Discovering why you have a certain want can help you get to the bottom of what will truly satisfy you.
From Volume 9, Issue 12:Stick-to-itiveness. I was raised on it. Commitment…always a good thing, right? Toughing it out has been a cornerstone of my existence, imprinted by a can-do dad and a cheerleader mom, both products of the “Greatest Generation.” So obviously, not quitting is right smack in the middle of my “comfort zone.” That should be a warning in itself. “Fish or cut bait,” the old saying goes. Well, I’m here to vote in favor of “cutting bait.” I’ve termed it “creative quitting.”
From Volume 9, Issue 7:There have been times in my life when no saying was ever truer than the title of this article. It’s not a spot I can say I’m satisfied to be in, nor does it contribute to my general happiness. So why am I there—wanting to do something but unable to do it? Because I’m torn between two competing messages in my self-talk….you know, that chatter in your head you use to build yourself up or sometimes completely denigrate yourself? Here’s how to determine whether it’s time to go for it or get off the metaphorical toilet and focus on something else.
From Volume 9, Issue 7:Life success guru Tony Robbins said, “A real decision is measured by the fact that you’ve taken a new action. If there’s no action, you haven’t truly decided.”
I think it’s subtler than that. I think we make decisions about a lot of things that don’t lead to action, but do lead to what I call “rule revision.” And revising the rule can make a huge difference in our lives.
From Volume 9, Issue 6:With many of my clients, we get to an impasse when we try to figure out what they really want. The challenge with simply asking the question is that I almost always get a Knower/Judger, politically correct, react-rather-than-respond answer. And frequently the answer refers more to a need (which is K/J-based, egocentric, and satisfying) than a want (which is Learner/Researcher-based, present, and happiness-oriented). Here’s how I figure out what I want.
From Volume 8, Issue 6:Back in March, I penned an article on “wanting it more,” using the term “hunger” as a motivation amplifier. Yesterday, I sat in a meeting facilitated by an expert who suggested that “wanting” was not enough to obtain or accomplish. “Wanting” has to be paired with “desire.” That got me thinking about what desire is and how we can use it to change our habits for the better. Here’s some food for thought that you might be able to use to finally make that change you’ve been wanting to make.
From Volume 8, Issue 4:Why do I want what I want? That’s a question I pose regularly on this blog. Sometimes I just shake my head at some of the things I want, but later, once I can see the situation retroactively, I find I’m able to answer that question. This month, I did something that even I thought was a little crazy to want to do, but now that I’ve done it, I see how much joy there is in just letting yourself want what you want.
I met one morning this week with a coaching client who is working very hard on managing the processes that will yield the results he …
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