Author: Kim
by 
Prepare the Child
From Volume 11, Issue 1:Prepare the Child for the Road, not the Road for the Child. —Native American proverb
This article is basically an op. ed. piece. And it’s “parent-y.” It’s totally my opinion, and I’ll take any heat and commentary on it as productive.
It’s been my (and most transactional analysis psychologists’) premise that the experiences of our youth, from about two years old through about six, form our Knower/Judger persona. It is thought that through that age period we make decisions about how the world works and how we fit in it. We create our concepts of right and wrong, persuasion, self-worth, and thousands of things that we’ll compare ourselves against for the rest of our lives. We may even have a concept of the type of spouse we’ll marry, and, if we grow up in certain environments, even how often we should beat him or her.
Change and the New Year’s Resolution
From Volume 11, Issue 1:By the time you read this, you may have already blown your New Year’s Eve Resolution(s).
Why do we even bother to make them? Over the years I’ll bet I’m zero for fifty. I’ve discovered several possibilities as to why they don’t work, at least for me.
Letting yourself learn
From Volume 10, Issue 12:Remember American History class? Blah, blah, blah, Lincoln, blah, blah blah, Gettysburg, blah, blah, blah….
Unless you’ve suddenly decided American history is now interesting, your retention of this material is probably minimal or limited to being proficient at Googling such topics.
The value of maybe
From Volume 10, Issue 12:There are tons of situations in which “maybe” is a non-productive response. Salespeople know “maybe” as a time-waster, indefinite, kick-the-can-down-the-road answer. Very non-committal. And salespeople live and die by commitments.
“Maybe” can be infuriating. I use it when I simply want to keep my options open no matter how badly the other person wants or needs a commitment from me.
Wanting
From Volume 10, Issue 11:Can you define something that you feel you want that isn’t tied directly to your Knower/Judger? That wouldn’t be satisfying some ego need? It’s tough, isn’t it? Money? Car? House? Relationship?
No cheese, please?
From Volume 10, Issue 11:How many times have you turned on a fake smile? Chances are, you’ve done it a lot, with colleagues, prospects, family, and friends—perhaps when told to “Say ‘cheese’.” Research on the sincerity of smiles (the spontaneous one vs. the one you try on when you’re offered broiled armadillo bites at a cocktail party) indicates there are good reasons to understand the value of a smile.