Author: Kim
by 
Mastering Forgiveness, One Vexation at a Time
From Volume 7, Issue 9:”The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget.”
—Thomas Szasz
This past month has been a maelstrom of angst for a lot of people. Maybe it was the supermoon we had last week. Or maybe it was everybody getting back into the after-summer routines. Kids back to school. School buses clogging up normally simple commutes. Bills coming in from that two-week vacation back in early August. These things can really stack up.
Whatever triggered it, a lot of people in my world, myself included, felt “victimized” by something or someone, and we were mad about it. We’ve all reached a breaking point at some time or another, where we’ve just had enough. Anger becomes the reaction of choice. But it’s not the only option—or the best one.
Sabotage
From Volume 7, Issue 9:When you hear the word “sabotage”, what comes to mind? Some may remember the Beastie Boys tune: “Listen all of y’all, it’s a sabotage.”
Or maybe that Arnold Schwarzenegger movie from earlier this year? (You didn’t see it either?)
Sab-o-tage
/ˈsabəˌtäZH/
verb: sabotage; 3rd person present: sabotages; past tense: sabotaged; past participle: sabotaged; gerund or present participle: sabotaging
1. deliberately destroy, damage, or obstruct (something), especially for political or military advantage.
synonyms: vandalize, wreck, damage, destroy, cripple, impair, incapacitate;
obstruct, disrupt, spoil, ruin, undermine, threaten, subvert
I’m guessing you don’t consider yourself a “saboteur” (one who sabotages), yet I think we are all such vandalizers on a regular basis.
Get Unstuck from Your Story
From Volume 7, Issue 8:We all have a story. It’s what we tell ourselves that gives us our identity, our place in the world. It summarizes who we are and what our capabilities and limitations are. We start writing this story when we’re very young, and it becomes an ingrained part of our self-talk. But when you peel away the layers, most of our stories involve at least as much fancy as fact—whether they’re about ourselves or the world around us.
When “OK” Is Only Skin-Deep
From Volume 7, Issue 8:The recent passing of Robin Williams has me thinking about how much of what we believe we know about each other relies on surfaces. Many illnesses, both mental and physical, can torment people without the slightest outward appearance. So when we learn about their suffering, we’re shocked. “But he looked so good,” we think. And that’s the problem—looking good is not the same as being OK.
Quitting for the Win
From Volume 7, Issue 7:“Quitters never win and winners never quit.”
—Vince Lombardi
“Never say never.”
—Charles Dickens, The Pickwick Papers
I tend to differ with Coach Lombardi and agree with Dickens on this one. Quitting is the tactical execution of the strategic positive power of “no”—in order to make a “no” stick, you have to be willing to quit.
Rewriting History
From Volume 7, Issue 7:A father’s entry in a journal found in an attic:
“Wasted the whole day fishing with Jimmy. Didn’t catch a thing.”
Jimmy’s diary entry from the same day:
“Went fishing with my dad. Best day of my life.”
I used this story to make a point with a friend of mine at breakfast this morning and got to thinking. Most of us, including me, aren’t so lucky as to have a journal from our early childhood. But can writing a journal of our memories about our formative years also offer insight into how we came to be who we are?