From Volume 6, Issue 7:Over the past 25 years or so, it has been my experience that “managing” people, in the traditional sense, is folly. We manage data. We train people, and even that’s a difficult result to achieve. The secret to running a successful team is to delicately balance managing, leading, and mentoring…but not the way you might think.
From Volume 6, Issue 6:When it comes to human sexual behavior, most of us know what foreplay is—and its benefits. It increases the intimacy between partners, creating a sense of trust and a higher level of confidence, and increasing the chances that the people involved will get what they want out of the interaction. As you know, I’m all about helping people get what they want out of interactions.
From Volume 6, Issue 6:Working with leaders around the country and in Asia and Australia over the last 10 years, I’ve observed that people tend to be “comfortable” when their momentary emotional needs (MEN—and that acronym is not an accident!) are taken care of. Sometimes we even interpret this as being happy. But often people ask for my help because they want to stop some habitual dysfunction and I discover that they are truly comfortable when operating in that manner. Comfortable, but obviously not happy, or my help wouldn’t be required. So what’s really going on here?
From Volume 6, Issue 5:Ever since the tiny country of Bhutan decided its metric would be happiness instead of product, I’ve wondered how happiness is measured. What makes us “happy,” and how can we get more happiness?
From Volume 6, Issue 5:Ever have an opportunity to correct a habit that’s getting in the way of your happiness but for some reason just don’t do it—again? Let me tell you about the habit I’ve been battling for the last three or four decades.
From Volume 6, Issue 4:“Want fries with that?” squawked the drive-through speaker.
“Sure,” the driver mumbled, and drove forward to pay at the first window.
He’d made a choice. Or had he?
From Volume 6, Issue 4:Clutter. I have it in my office. I have it in my shop. I have it in my home (although mostly in my areas, not my wife’s). I can live with all that. What I have a problem with is the clutter in my mind. Constant self-talk, thoughts, judgments, predictions.
What does clutter in the mind feel like? To me, it feels like a traffic jam on Times Square, with thoughts and expectations and fears all trying to get through the intersection at the same time. Clearing the mind brings calm and order, a sense of peace, and the ability for me to get where I want to go.
From Volume 6, Issue 3:We hear it in baseball broadcast booths all summer long: “He’s a .333 hitter. He’s gone oh for two. He’s due.” But is this accurate? Should you bet on this? Or are you just wishing for an outcome that has no basis in the data, and setting yourself up to lose? The gambler’s dilemma can teach us a lot about all our interactions.
From Volume 6, Issue 3:Why do we ever change anything? Because we want to. There really is no other reason. The question is, how do we develop the desire to change anything? This story of a frustrated baby (who would grow up to use the story in his newsletter…) and his response to recurring pain in the patella, or kneecap, explains it all.
From Volume 6, Issue 2:For the past two months, I’ve been accosted with a certain phrase: trust but verify. Reagan used it to get into Gorbachev’s head during negotiations in the 1980s, and now I’ve heard it first from a client and second from my rally car driver. So I dissected the concept, and here’s what I’ve concluded.
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