February 26, 2025

The value of maybe

From Volume 10, Issue 12:There are tons of situations in which “maybe” is a non-productive response. Salespeople know “maybe” as a time-waster, indefinite, kick-the-can-down-the-road answer. Very non-committal. And salespeople live and die by commitments.

“Maybe” can be infuriating. I use it when I simply want to keep my options open no matter how badly the other person wants or needs a commitment from me.

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No cheese, please?

From Volume 10, Issue 11:How many times have you turned on a fake smile? Chances are, you’ve done it a lot, with colleagues, prospects, family, and friends—perhaps when told to “Say ‘cheese’.” Research on the sincerity of smiles (the spontaneous one vs. the one you try on when you’re offered broiled armadillo bites at a cocktail party) indicates there are good reasons to understand the value of a smile.

No cheese, please? Read More

Altruism

From Volume 10, Issue 10:According to Scott Farrell, MD, altruism is “the belief in or practice of disinterested and selfless concern for the wellbeing of others.”

In contrast, egoism (a.k.a., egotism) is “an ethical theory that treats self-interest as the foundation of morality.”

These two terms are about as polar opposite as two words can be. Black/white. Good/evil. Angel/devil. Altrusim/egoism.

Not to be a pessimist, but I believe I see the world that I know gravitating FROM altruism TOWARD egoism.

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Habit or addiction?

From Volume 10, Issue 9:Reach for that bagel. Tell myself I’m unlucky. Follow a strict tooth-brushing routine. Judge others by their:

o Intellect
o Weight
o Attractiveness
o Skin color
o Political philosophy

Make the toilet paper come off the roll:

o From over the top
o From underneath

These repeated patterns we exhibit, I believe, are simply manifestations of our Knower/Judger—that “keeper of the rules” we carry around with us that makes getting through the day easier. After all, we don’t have to stop and think about things we already have an answer to, right?

Habit or addiction? Read More

Kryptonite…

From Volume 10, Issue 9:“If I go crazy then will you still
Call me Superman
If I’m alive and well, will you be
There holding my hand
I’ll keep you by my side with
My superhuman might
Kryptonite” ~ Three Doors Down
It’s midnight, December 31st. While those around me are carelessly carousing and chanting and singing and falling asleep, I’m honing my list of things I’ll do better starting the next day. No craft beers. Work out every day. No sleeping past 6 a.m. Train for and run two half marathons… the list goes on. They’re called New Year’s resolutions. We’ve all done them.

Kryptonite… Read More

Lucking

From Volume 10, Issue 8:What is the nature of luck in my life? Do I consider myself a “lucky” individual? Unlucky? How do we measure “luck”?

Let’s look at the big HUGE picture. If, as science proposes, everything started at The Big Bang almost 14 billion years ago, and our solar system (as a result of that incident) was created some 4.5 billion years ago, and the first life forms showed up on Earth about 3.8 billion years ago, and our species, Homo sapien, appeared only about 180,000 years ago, and you are reading this so you’re somewhere in your average 78-year and 9-month life span, and you don’t know how you got here, well then you’re lucky!

Lucking Read More

Knower/Judger, Learner/Researcher 101

From Volume 10, Issue 8:For the past 10 years or so, I’ve referred readers to a web page to get a brief description of the Knower/Judger (K/J) and Learner/Researcher (L/R) personas.

I thought I’d drop back a bit and give you my take on these “states of mind” that define the boundary between doing what we’ve always done (adhering to our DISC or Myers-Briggs or Kolbe profiles) and making a choice to do something else.

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Maybe. Maybe not.

From Volume 10, Issue 7:We’re human. We judge. It’s what we do. Good, bad. Right, wrong. Pretty, ugly. Useful, useless. Fast, slow. True, false. (I refer to this tendency in each of us as our Knower/Judger, or K/J.)

How do we make those judgments? We compare what’s happening right now with history lessons from our past. Our K/J has set up a database that can be quickly accessed to help us make snap decisions (not really decisions at all, but actually programmed responses) that help us get through life with a minimum of work. We are, as a species, pretty lazy sometimes. And as long as these responses generally work for us, we probably don’t see any reason to look for new ways to respond.

Maybe. Maybe not. Read More