September 24, 2021

I’ve decided I want to be happy.

From Volume 13, Issue 1:I now realize that being angry, frustrated, sad, guilty, afraid, scared, annoyed, disappointed, discouraged, apathetic—the laundry list goes on—simply has not been good for my well-being. It can make me lash out at those who may or may not be responsible for these feelings. Generally it makes me very unapproachable… people walk wide circles around me.

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Figuring Out What You Really Want

From Volume 9, Issue 6:With many of my clients, we get to an impasse when we try to figure out what they really want. The challenge with simply asking the question is that I almost always get a Knower/Judger, politically correct, react-rather-than-respond answer. And frequently the answer refers more to a need (which is K/J-based, egocentric, and satisfying) than a want (which is Learner/Researcher-based, present, and happiness-oriented). Here’s how I figure out what I want.

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Hunger Games

From Volume 8, Issue 3:Finding happiness can be easier than you think

“How on earth did you overcome a three-touchdown deficit with only seven minutes to play, coach?” the sportscaster asked. After a thoughtful moment, the coach replied, “I guess my guys just wanted it more.”

Why do we want what we want? How come some wants or desires are less motivating than others? It all comes down to whether we’re playing our own version of the hunger games, and playing for happiness rather than satisfaction.

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