Knower/Judger – Page 10

May I Approach, Your Honor?

by KimMarch 16, 2016March 15, 2016

From Volume 9, Issue 3:For 40 years, I have skated under the radar of jury duty. But recently I was summoned to a serve at a criminal trial—two defendants were charged with a conspiracy to possess narcotics for distribution. I was one of 40 in the jury pool. Last time I was summoned, I was excused as soon as an attorney discovered I had a master’s degree in psychology. I thought the same thing would happen here. Not so. I survived to be named juror #6 of 14 (there were two alternates). Here’s what happened and why I’d happily do jury duty again.

Expectations and Aspirations

by KimFebruary 17, 2016February 16, 2016

From Volume 9, Issue 2:My mentor, Jut Meininger, spent the last three years of his life attempting to get me to see the futility of having expectations. “Give up your expectations,” Jut would tell me from his Knower/Judger, “and you will completely eliminate frustration.” (I’ve been known to be very frustrated on and off during my life…many of you may have witnessed this!) My response from my K/J was, “How does someone with the goal-oriented K/J set of rules actually accomplish anything? Don’t we have to have expectations in order to succeed?” Jut’s been gone six years now, and his wisdom is finally sinking in.

The Risk of Doing Nothing

by KimFebruary 17, 2016February 16, 2016

From Volume 9, Issue 2:Fight, flight, or freeze. Some thugs pursued a friend and me on South Street in Morristown, NJ, in my early teenage years. We picked flight and dove into a store owned by a friend of my uncle. Adrenaline flowed. Blood pressure went up. Fear is an incredible motivator! But how do we use these three reactions in everyday life to benefit us?

Happy 2016?

by KimJanuary 20, 2016January 19, 2016

From Volume 9, Issue 1:The cultural Knower/Judger rule, at least here in the Western world, is that we continually strive to close the gap between what we have or are, and what we want or want to be. The desire to close this gap is a motivator. It’s what will help you make a higher salary or annual income this year, hit your sales goals, and get the car, house, or clothes you want. But let’s face it. The driving force of the American Dream is a certain level of dissatisfaction and, quite naturally, unhappiness—until you get what you want. My question is this: do dissatisfaction and unhappiness have to go together?

Hitting the Reset Button

by KimNovember 18, 2015November 17, 2015

From Volume 8, Issue 11:Every once in a while my computer locks up. In Mac land they call it the “pinwheel of death.” Microsoft people call it the “blue screen of death.” Anyway…it’s death. Sometimes the router for my in-home Wi-Fi just gets testy and stops communicating with my devices. I’ve had times when the “smart” stuff in my car has stopped working. How do I recover from these little tragedies? They all have reset buttons! Do a restart and all is well.

But what about my reset button? You know, the one that eliminates what’s causing me stress right now and gives me a new outlook on a situation and new energy to move forward? The way I see it, there are three types of reset buttons we can press when life is challenging us—if we remember to press them.

Pondering the Mystery of Joy

by KimNovember 18, 2015November 17, 2015

From Volume 8, Issue 11:Like a mysterious subatomic particle or large universal component, both of which are known to exist by inference of proven data, I think I’ve identified a level above Eckhart Tolle’s three responses. We know we can choose to accept what happens, enjoy it passively, or even engage in the occurrence enthusiastically. But there is evidence that a level greater than “engaging enthusiastically” exists—and I think we’ve all experienced it.

Serving Two Gods

by KimOctober 21, 2015October 21, 2015

From Volume 8, Issue 10:”Did you ever have to make up your mind?
You pick up on one and leave the other behind
It’s not often easy and not often kind
Did you ever have to make up your mind?”

(Words and music by John Sebastian of the Lovin’ Spoonfuls)

I don’t know if this happens to you. I see it frequently in my daily life. I’m put in a position where I have to decide between two events, or philosophies, or people, and there’s just no middle ground…pick one; get rid of the other. My Knower/Judger always has a problem with this dichotomous dilemma. I always want to say, “I can do both!” (or in other words, “I can do it all!”).

Perhaps people who don’t test life or take chances or get passionate about things don’t run into these crises as often. Seems to happen to me a lot. So what do you do when you find yourself trying to serve two gods?

Words Can Hurt You

by KimSeptember 23, 2015September 22, 2015

From Volume 8, Issue 9:I enjoy GEICO ads. I think they’re clever and well written…I especially enjoy Jesse riding into the “THE END” sign and being tossed from his trusty steed while leaving his gal ’cuz a “loner has to be alone.” Yes, words hurt Jesse, and I’ve been thinking lately about how words can hurt all of us…not the words of others but those that we tell ourselves. Who would we be without words, and how can we keep them from hurting us?

Pet Love: One of the Cheapest Forms of Therapy Around

by KimSeptember 23, 2015June 29, 2021

From Volume 8, Issue 9:In my youth, we had a black cocker spaniel named Cokey (Coke? Like in coal? Get it?). Cokey was a ditzy dog who spent her days in the woods around my northern New Jersey home, cleaning the trees of ticks. Cokey’s ears were so long we had to secure them over her head with a clothespin when she ate, or dinner residue would stick to them. Cokey was Mom’s drug of choice when she stressed out about any of a number of things that impinged upon her life, not the least of which was me. What makes our pets so effective in their ability to calm us and tap off the stresses of the day?

One Book That’s Changing My Life and Could Change Yours

by KimAugust 19, 2015August 19, 2015

From Volume 8, Issue 8:Every once in a while, I come across a book I think everybody should own, or at least read. Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts—Becoming the Person You Want to Be, by Marshall Goldsmith, is such a book. It’s taught me a lot, and I highly recommend it to you. Here’s why.