Knower/Judger – Page 12

Bah, Humbug!: The Season of Dysfunctional Dialogue

by KimDecember 17, 2014December 17, 2014

From Volume 7, Issue 12:It’s Christmastime again. The season when we all try to decompress and review the past year and vow to chill and get along.

But somehow the opposite seems to happen. I’m stressed because I can’t get it all done in time—tree, decorations, shopping, cooking. The last person I want to be cooped up with on Christmas Day is my aunt, who never smiles. And then there are all the projects, both at home and at work, that aren’t going to get done because I’m putting all the “some assembly required” toys together. Can we just skip Christmas this year?

Hands Up Don’t Shoot vs. Pants Up Don’t Loot

by KimNovember 19, 2014November 19, 2014

From Volume 7, Issue 11:By any standard, the little St. Louis suburb of Ferguson is a pretty old town. Called Ferguson Station at its beginnings in 1854, it became the fourth-class city of Ferguson in 1894 with 1,000 residents. So we’re not talking about some 1950s-era suburb here. Ferguson was an enclave of well-to-do houses with owners who commuted into St. Louis on one of the eight trains a day that stopped there.

At the risk of appearing to simplify the struggles that the St. Louis suburb of Ferguson has been experiencing, I want to compare and contrast two themes

Authoring the Inner Monologue

by KimNovember 19, 2014November 19, 2014

From Volume 7, Issue 11:My two-year-old grandson, Oliver, was visiting last Sunday evening. And he’s a chatterbox. To their credit, Oliver’s parents are paying a lot of attention to his (and his older sister’s) self-talk. His mom tells me that she interprets his chatter as verbalization of his internal monologue. Oliver is sorting out who he is and how he fits into the world around him.

Sabotage

by KimSeptember 17, 2014September 17, 2014

From Volume 7, Issue 9:When you hear the word “sabotage”, what comes to mind? Some may remember the Beastie Boys tune: “Listen all of y’all, it’s a sabotage.”

Or maybe that Arnold Schwarzenegger movie from earlier this year? (You didn’t see it either?)

Sab-o-tage
/ˈsabəˌtäZH/

verb: sabotage; 3rd person present: sabotages; past tense: sabotaged; past participle: sabotaged; gerund or present participle: sabotaging

1. deliberately destroy, damage, or obstruct (something), especially for political or military advantage.

synonyms: vandalize, wreck, damage, destroy, cripple, impair, incapacitate;
obstruct, disrupt, spoil, ruin, undermine, threaten, subvert

I’m guessing you don’t consider yourself a “saboteur” (one who sabotages), yet I think we are all such vandalizers on a regular basis.

Get Unstuck from Your Story

by KimAugust 20, 2014August 19, 2014

From Volume 7, Issue 8:We all have a story. It’s what we tell ourselves that gives us our identity, our place in the world. It summarizes who we are and what our capabilities and limitations are. We start writing this story when we’re very young, and it becomes an ingrained part of our self-talk. But when you peel away the layers, most of our stories involve at least as much fancy as fact—whether they’re about ourselves or the world around us.

When “OK” Is Only Skin-Deep

by KimAugust 20, 2014August 19, 2014

From Volume 7, Issue 8:The recent passing of Robin Williams has me thinking about how much of what we believe we know about each other relies on surfaces. Many illnesses, both mental and physical, can torment people without the slightest outward appearance. So when we learn about their suffering, we’re shocked. “But he looked so good,” we think. And that’s the problem—looking good is not the same as being OK.

Quitting for the Win

by KimJuly 16, 2014July 15, 2014

From Volume 7, Issue 7:“Quitters never win and winners never quit.”
—Vince Lombardi

“Never say never.”
—Charles Dickens, The Pickwick Papers

I tend to differ with Coach Lombardi and agree with Dickens on this one. Quitting is the tactical execution of the strategic positive power of “no”—in order to make a “no” stick, you have to be willing to quit.

Rewriting History

by KimJuly 16, 2014July 15, 2014

From Volume 7, Issue 7:A father’s entry in a journal found in an attic:
“Wasted the whole day fishing with Jimmy. Didn’t catch a thing.”

Jimmy’s diary entry from the same day:
“Went fishing with my dad. Best day of my life.”

I used this story to make a point with a friend of mine at breakfast this morning and got to thinking. Most of us, including me, aren’t so lucky as to have a journal from our early childhood. But can writing a journal of our memories about our formative years also offer insight into how we came to be who we are?

The stigma of assessments

by KimJune 18, 2014June 18, 2014

From Volume 7, Issue 6:At some point in our lives, we either have participated in or we will participate in a behavioral assessment.

Let me be very clear: Behavior assessments such as the DiSC® Profile, the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator®, and the Keirsey Temperament Sorter (the assessments representing the nomenclature above) all have tremendous validity. Thousands of people have subjected themselves to them, and their predictive value is rarely questioned.

There’s Another Train. (There Always Is)

by KimJune 18, 2014June 18, 2014

From Volume 7, Issue 6:The lore of “success training” is full of stories of knocked-down heroes who somehow summon the gumption to keep getting back up.