Today. Right now. This moment. What you choose can and will affect the next moment. “I’ll get more chances,” I tell myself when I choose the donut even though I want to lose weight. “I don’t have to decide anything new right now.” But let’s take a closer look at that. Because aren’t we really preparing for the big show, our chance to respond in a new way, during the show itself?
As I have long posited in this blog, we have a tendency to “do what we’ve always done” because we’re addicted to our Knower/Judger rules of life.
So when we repeat an action that does not serve us well (a physical action, verbal response, body language transmission, etc.), we’re most likely doing something we’ve done in the past—a lot.
Even though we might have observed that outcomes are compromised by these K/J actions, we do them again…and again…and again.
I want to lose weight. Why did I grab that donut?
I want that new position coming available. Why did I blow up in front of my boss?
I want to be more assertive. Why didn’t I delegate that instead of staying here until 8:00 p.m., doing it myself?
“There’ll be more chances,” I think to console myself.
The problem is that more chances make each episode appear like a rehearsal. “I’ll have plenty of opportunities to correct this flaw that bugs me (and probably the rest of my world).”
But when I don’t decide something new and try to change the interaction with the outside world, then this episode continues to have the same repeated effect on my environment. People grumble. I don’t get the promotion. I gain weight. I’m still here at 8:00 doing someone else’s work.
Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results…yada, yada, yada…
So if I describe this as a rehearsal, then it’s at best a wasted one. It yields no better performance than the last 100 episodes.
What does it take to perform the way I want to—the way that serves me best?
Simply recognizing that this moment…this opportunity…this conversation…this interaction…this golf swing…this donut…will not occur again. While my reactions may be programmed in my K/J, each event that triggers the reaction is unique and special. And what I do (cruise with my rules of life or shift gears to a different response) will affect my life. In that respect, I’m on stage…in the spotlight…my time to shine…or do what I always do. My choice.
While this may sometimes look and feel like a rehearsal, now…this moment…is the performance of your life. This is not a rehearsal. The next conversation could alter your life forever. You’re on. Or you’re not. Your choice.