From Volume 12, Issue 1:It’s a continuum really, isn’t it? On one end is joy, which is associated with happiness, calm, fun, smiles, peace, confidence, enthusiasm, lack of stress, breaths of fresh air, and lightness. On the other end is despondency, whose henchmen are fear, stress, worry, darkness, fights, drama, frowns, terror, self-doubt, heaviness, and choking.
From Volume 12, Issue 1: “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” This quote, oft used by productivity guru and Seven Habits author Steven Covey, are actually the words of Viktor Frankl.
From Volume 11, Issue 11:At the beginning of just about every coaching engagement I’ve had over the last 15 or more years, I’ve asked, “What do you want?”. And it’s pretty universally a very difficult question to answer honestly.
From Volume 11, Issue 10:Times come when we need someone to understand what’s expected of them—in the moment, over a period of time, or over a lifetime. Recognizing that expectations are the foundation of frustration, how can we minimize that emotional kickback when we have to get the point across?
From Volume 11, Issue 9: Why do any of us do what we do? React the way we react? Answer the way we do?
From Volume 11, Issue 8:Have you ever wondered, “What do I deserve?”
From Volume 11, Issue 7: On the outside, I’m betting none of my readers would believe that conflict is, in general, productive. And I guess a lot of it isn’t. Let’s look at what conflict works and what conflict doesn’t.
From Volume 11, Issue 6:According to Wikipedia, “jumping to conclusions” (officially the jumping conclusion bias, often abbreviated as JTC, and also referred to as the inference-observation confusion) is a psychological term referring to a communication obstacle where one “judge[s] or decide[s] something without having all the facts; to reach unwarranted conclusions.”
JTC has caused me more grief than any other Knower/Judger reaction I can think of.
From Volume 11, Issue 6:Can you imagine toilet paper being the root cause of someone’s murder? Well, structurally, I can.
In my workshops and keynotes, I bring up the age-old debate on whether toilet paper should roll off the top of the roll or the bottom. My research shows that about 5% of the population is rigidly certain (from their Knower/Judger, of course) that the only proper way toilet paper should come off a roll is off the bottom. The other 95% is convinced (from their K/J) that God meant it to roll off the top. It can be quite amusing when two combatants start debating this in a workshop—and quite difficult to get them back on track.
I use the example to get people to feel just how concrete some of our rules of life, no matter how trivial, can be.
From Volume 11, Issue 5:Seriously. What event, person, occurrence, treatment routinely puts you over the edge? Write it down… on paper.
Got it? For me, it’s pretty routinely my level of anger of stupid things that I do, personal failures, frequently forgetting details or things that cascade into bigger things—like leaving the phone on my nightstand when I’m expecting an important call.
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